Welcome to the tenth installment of Christmas in December. Since 1996, this humble enterprise has brought almost 200 individual Christmas and other Generalized Winter Holiday songs into over 80 households. Not so impressive compared with the production and distribution juggernaut behind your John Teshes or Celine Dions, but not bad for just me and several dozens of dollars worth of computer equipment.Those of you who have been with us for a while will find 12 songs making their CID debut, along with 12 making their digital debut, having appeared previously during the analog tape years (1996-1999). You’ll hear the Peanuts gang at the end, like always. They’ve been second-graders for the past 55 years, so ten years batting cleanup on CID should be no big deal.
But, hey! Enough of my yakkin’! Whaddaya say — let’s boogie!
1. "What are you mice doing in here?"
This slice of studio banter, in which the boogie-crazed (and probably stoned) Canned Heat happen upon recording megastars Alvin and the Chipmunks, raises a question: Given the assertion that the “mice” had to get it together because “this is 1968, brother, not 1958,” how together would they have to get it in 2005? I just blew your mind, didn’t I? Sorry.
2. Yulesville U.S.A. - The Rockin' Stockings featuring Billy Lee Riley
Billy Lee Riley was a Sun Records recording artist in the post-Elvis days, responsible for “Flying Saucer Rock and Roll” and “Red Hot.” The Stockings take us through what you might call an overture of holiday favorites, including bits of “White Christmas,” “Jingle Bells,” “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” “Here Comes Santa Claus” and “Up on the Housetop.” I don’t know who the rest of the Rockin’ Stockings are; Billy Lee was apparently a “multi-instrumentalist,” so they might have all been him. If so, good for him. This song, like the fragment before it, and several others on CID05, came to my attention via Erin “Miss Teen Wordpower” McKean, to whom I extend hearty thanks. (Note: Please do not confuse this song with “Yulesville,” by Ed “Kookie” Burns. I imagine both Billy Lee and “Kookie” are tired of the confusion.
3. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Mambo - Billy May and His Orchestra
I read somewhere that this song features “vocals by Alvin Stoller,” who is usually a percussionist. Imagine Alvin, sweating it out behind his drum set, knowing in his heart that he’s got more chops than a hundred Gene Krupas or Buddy Riches if only that so-and-so May would let him shine, and then finally the bandleader looks over and says, “Stoller, you’ve got kind of a funny voice. Why don’t you come up here and do some vocals for this Rudolph thing?” If Alvin sounds a little tanked here, who can blame him? I can’t. Incidentally, Alvin Stoller is not the author of Future Shock; that’s Alvin Toffler.
4. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Darlene Love
Wow. I just... I just love this song a whole bunch. So does Dave Marsh, who lists this at number 22 in The Heart of Rock & Soul: The 1001 Greatest Singles Ever Made, which I also love a whole bunch. Sorry to use so large a quote, but he sums up the record’s greatness better than I can: “Darlene Love ... ranks just beneath Aretha Franklin among female rock singers, and ‘Christmas’ is her greatest record ... [Producer Phil] Spector’s Wall of Sound, with its continuously thundering horns and strings, never seemed more massive than it does here. But all that only punctuates Love’s hysterical blend of loneliness and lust. In the end, when the mix brings up the piano and the chorus to challenge her, the best the Wall’s entire weight can achieve is a draw.”
5. Merry Christmas Baby - Otis Redding
Here’s arguably the world’s greatest soul singer, with inarguably the world’s greatest backup band (Booker T. and the M.G.s). Just another day at Stax Records.
6. White Christmas - The Drifters (featuring Clyde McPhatter and Bill Pinckney)
Dave Marsh again, imagining how Irving Berlin reacted to this treatment of his classic by Durham, NC-born McPhatter and the Drifters: “[D]id he understand that the way Clyde McPhatter toys with the melody enriches it, that his expansion of the word ‘I’m’ is a truly epic commentary on the meaning of the season and that the unmistakable irony of a black group singing this lyric brought his song renewed life, artistic as well as commercial?” (The irony, in case you missed it, is that it’s a black group singing “White Christmas.”) When Elvis recorded this for his 1957 Christmas album, he paid homage to (or ripped off, depending on how charitable you’re feeling) McPhatter’s vocal arrangement, especially his “expansion of the word ‘I’m.” Even then, Elvis couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be Clyde McPhatter or Bing Crosby.
7. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear – Beausoleil
With fiddle playing by the great Michael Doucet, this is my favorite recording of this song (second favorite: Fisher’s version from CID04). What can I say: I’m a fool for Cajun music and waltz time.
8. Christmas Is a Joyful Day - Lord Executor with Gerald Clark and His Caribbean Serenaders
I’ll grant you that it’s a pretty small sample size, but all of the Christmas calypso songs I’ve heard (which are this one and Lord Nelson’s “A Party for Santa Claus” involve getting drunk. I don’t have a problem with that; I’m just pointing it out. The lyrics mention a “cantaway,” which was a powerful rum drink Trinidadians served to unwelcome guests to knock them out. Which sounds much better than the Southern tradition of gritting your teeth until the unwelcome guests leave, then saying nasty things about them behind their backs. But I’m not from Trinidad, so what do I know. I found this song on “Where Will You Be Christmas Day?”, of which I can only say that they saw me coming when they made it. Highly recommended.
9. Winter Wonderland - Byron Lee and the Dragonaires
You may know Byron Lee from the movie “Dr. No” (I don’t, having never seen it). Byron Lee was the first band leader to achieve international success playing Jamaican music, says the “All Music Guide,” which is kind of surprising considering he’s a white guy. (Actually, that’s not that surprising at all, is it? It’s not like there’s a tradition of white artists making hay out of the work of black musical pioneers, is there? Consider Pat Boone and Little Richard. Or Elvis and practically everybody, although that’s a whole different argument.) Anyway, this is a pretty hot little number, playing on the cognitive dissonance of a wintry song being played in a musical style associated with a warm climate (c.f. “Winter Wonderland,” Arthur Lyman, CID04). We’re all about the cognitive dissonance here at CID.
10. Jingle Bells - The Reverend Horton Heat
Call me a snob, but I really don’t think anybody has made a rock instrumental Christmas album better than “The Ventures’ Christmas Album” (and they get bonus points for correctly using an apostrophe after the “s” to denote a plural possessive). Records like “Tis the Season for Los Straitjackets” are, at best, wan reminders of the Ventures’ greatness (see “homage” vs. “ripoff,” above). That said, this is a smokin’ version of “Jingle Bells.” If you’re gonna play the most clichéd Christmas song ever, use plenty of distortion — so sayeth the Reverend, amen.
11. Reindeer Boogie - Hank Snow
One thing I love about country musicians: they have the best nicknames. Hank Snow, for example, started out as “The Yodeling Ranger,” then became “The Singing Ranger” after his voice changed and he couldn’t yodel like Jimmie Rodgers any more. Another reason to love Hank: he’s Canadian. And, for better or worse, he’s the one who brought Colonel Tom Parker to Elvis (for further study, please see Peter Guralnick’s Last Train to Memphis and Careless Love). You may know his “Movin’ On,” a classic. If you don’t know it, you should.
12. To Heck With Ole Santa Claus - Loretta Lynn
Call this the “Santa Claus and His Discontents” section of CID05. Count on Loretta to be the astringent to cut through the candy glaze of the holidays. One imagines that Santa didn’t make his way over to Butcher Holler very often, and when he did, the pickings were mighty slim. The Jordanaires can “ho, ho, ho” with all their might — it won’t take the pain away, will it, Loretta? Incidentally, if you’re ever in Hurricane Mills, Tenn., stop by Loretta Lynn’s Country Kitchen for some perfectly adequate Southern food.
13. Santa Claus - The Sonics
A nice, hot, steamy, juicy, meaty slab of garage rock from the same Pacific Northwest scene that spawned the Kingsmen and “Louie Louie” (for further research, consult Louie Louie: The History and Mythology of the World’s Most Famous Rock Song by Dave Marsh — and I promise this will be the last Dave Marsh reference in these liner notes, although I can’t swear Peter Guralnick won’t pop up again). As with “To Heck With Ole Santa Claus,” the narrator here is haranguing Santa for not bringing him what he wanted. I would have loved to live in Seattle or Tacoma in the mid ‘60s, where you could hear bands who sound like this all the time. Can you imagine? Please don’t blame the song for the fact that parts of it sound like “Hang On Sloopy” (incidentally, the state rock song of Ohio).
14. Jingle Bells - Count Basie and His Orchestra
Putting the “fun” in “perfunctory,” here’s the Count with a swingin’ version of Jingle Bells. Not much to say here, so let’s move on.
15. Nothin' For Christmas - Eartha Kitt
Let’s take a moment to parse the implications here. Far from being rewarded at Christmas for good behavior, Eartha is getting nothing because she refuses to be bad. This is a complete negation of the Santa mythos, admitting that gift-giving at Christmas is completely the province of cynical humans — in this case, what sounds like a pack of typical guys on the make. And what loathsome behavior does Eartha refuse to engage in? A “little kiss.” A “tiny squeeze.” All this seems unusually chaste for Miss Kitt. And even if you have to tell her “right on, sister” for sticking to her principles and not selling out her affections for a few baubles, what are we to make of the coda, in which she cautions listeners “it’s good to be good — but not too good, or you’ll get nothin’ for Christmas”? It’s a postmodern labyrinth worthy of the late Jacques Derrida, I tell ya.
... Okay, so, here's the problem. I cannot find the rest of the liner notes for this CD. I'm writing this to you right now in the year aught-eight, and since the year aught-five, I've gotten a new computer, and switched Internet hosting accounts, and all of this data is lost. I am sorry. But at least you can enjoy a list of the rest of the songs on CID05, viz:
16. Christmas Is A-Coming - Leadbelly
17. Merry Texas Christmas You All - Ernest Tubb and His Texas Troubadors
18. Jingle Bells - The Maddox Brothers and Rose
19. Christmas Boogie - The Davis Sisters
20. Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy - Buck Owens and His Buckaroos
21. Dig That Crazy Santa Claus - Oscar McLollie and His Honey Jumpers
22. Christmas Swing - Django Reinhardt and Stephane Grapelli
23. Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies - the Larry Clinton Orchestra
24. First Snowfall - The Coctails
25. I'll Be Home for Christmas - The Pilgrim Travelers
26. Hark, the Herald Angels Sing - The Peanuts Gang
